Fedora and Fringe

I had a brilliant photo shoot last saturday with some exclusive A list supermodels you may have seen them around town, my good friends Fedora and Fringe. Here are some photos from the shoot. If you'd like to see more of my work visit marni.smugmug.com.

I am walking in dreaming heartache
simple embraces could crumble I.
How do we bring our sorrow out
with dreams you push so deep.
Where do we find catharsis.
In all my wonderings I never had
so clear the shadow of desire
I push my palms against cold stone
fingers white and taut burning numb.

Words in everyway pound my chest
The spatial linear index of margins
the highlighted nothingness in photos.
And how I know in every letter
I am lying of what I only thought
was real and warm and filling.

Firsts in Fotography

First Photo (age 11)


First Print (age 17)


First Night Photo (age 18)

I'd like to share a short passage from the book my nose is currently dug into. I think words can be the most beautiful expression.
The book is "Fugitive Pieces" by Anne Michaels

How many centuries before the spirit forgets the body?
How long will we feel our phantom skin buckling over rockface, our pulse in magnetic lines of force? How many years pass before the difference between murder and death erodes?
Grief requires time. If a chip of stone radiates its self, its breath, so long, how stubborn might be the soul. If sound waves carry on to infinity, where are their screams now? I imagine them somewhere in the galaxy, moving forever towards the psalms.

Alone on the roof those nights, it's not surprising that, of all the characters in Athos's tales of geologists and explorers, cartographers and navigators. I felt compassion for the stars themselves. Aching towards us for millennia though we are blind to their signals until it's too late, starlight only the white breath of an old cry. Sending their white messages millions of years, only to be crumpled up by the waves.

Fashion Contribution

This girl dresses like the totally modern early 90's babe that will soon be everyones style they want to achieve, Missy here is way ahead of us all, i hope she doesn't mind me putting these photos of her on here.

Our Only Inconsistant Constant

The Greeks had it right. Why do we let passion rule us? Oh to be disconnected and let the pain run off like rain. Instead the water pools in the hallows between my bones and gives me heavy boots.

Food for Thought

Does the earth know us like we know the earth? It remembers the routine of our feet on the cement? Do the sun and the earth talk amongst themselves about all of us? The sun watches us, but the earth feels us. I think we must have a closer relationship with earth. The earth holds our bones and flesh when we die eternally. does the sun receive our souls? And in that case know us eternally? But the earth knew me as imperfect and yet supports me everyday.

Homer

Recently I've picked up the habit of busing, I absolutely love the bus I feel the love in the marrow of my bone. Maybe not that deep, but it certainly is premium. I take the bus to and from school, and to and from work. The reason for all this busing started with my lack of car, broken tail light, resulting in a ticket and expired registration.... and on and on. It is strangely liberating to be dedicated to the bus, I am free to read and view the people who enjoy mass transportation. I always see someone I know or meet new people. For example tonight I met Homer, he is from North Mexico City, he has lived in Utah 4 years and lived in London for a few months. People have beautiful ambitions. I've read two Douglas Coupland books, and have just started "The History of Love".

Today I am happy I have my car fixed and insured, but a part of me in sad, I will still try to take the bus as much as I do now.

Nature and the Wreck

Lifetime in Three weeks

I am human flesh, my desires have a nature of somewhat carnal origins, but through faith I alter my desires.
Lately I have had the best days of my life with repercussions, questioning my stance on certain subjects. I will not delve into my deeper thoughts on the subject, but I will say that I feel split. On one side I feel that I want to give in to carnal desire, I want to do things that I've refrained from, I believe that I could be very different from the person I am now. And on the other side, I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, I have felt the spirit, and I know that my desires are carnal, and can be destructive.

Every living person needs gratification in their lives. I thinks that is only achieved through friends and religion (possible hobbies), family included in friends, because if you are not friends with your family they will not gratify you. These past three weeks have been so fun and amazing. I feel like I've known my roommates for years. I,m still wondering when someone is going to pull me out of this easy fun life, reverse my life and give me money and take away friends. I choose friends because I need gratification money will never give me.

I've missed you provo, I'm here and I'm content.

Jack's Wish is My Command

In truth I will never be great with words, but like every able human being I have Ideas and I have thoughts. I would first like to express appreciation for the friends and family who have made me feel that my expressions although unconventional and small are worth something to someone. And for today I will try to compare to books I've read recently. "A Thousand Splendid Suns" written by Khaled Hosseini compared with Kurt Vonnegut's "Slaughter House Five". I've decided to put these to side by side not only because it seemed to me that these two books are pregnant with anti-war passages, but also because it was a small idea and because of a friend I've chosen to post my thoughts.

A THOUSAND SPLENDID SUNS
This novel By Khaled Hosseini is a heart breaking tale of two women raised in the heart of Afghanistan in the middle of communism, terrorist, Taliban, living in constant fear of gun fire and rockets.
Although Mariam and Laila, differing in age by 20 years and raised under different circumstances, their paths are thrust over one another. They learn how to live in the most dire of circumstances. They cling helplessly to memories of past lives before the war, marriage, and heartache. With their new found companionship they learn that love has not left them in the dust of a drought.

SLAUGHTER HOUSE-FIVE A maze of moments of life and death. So it goes. Kurt Vonnegut plunges into all the layers of war while earthlings subjected to indescribable pains, become detached from the past that it can only be told in the third person. Following Billy Pilgrim's life and death through space and time, he finds himself in a moment where he questions "how can a planet live at peace". Weather the aliens are real or not, the point lies with every one's individual power and the lack of courage therein.

COMPARISON
Now this is when my mind will get A.D.D. so cross your fingers that I'll pull something intelligible together.
"Do you have it in you?" Laila said.
"To what?"
"To use this thing. To Kill with it"
or another quote I've heard repeatedly "guns don't kill people, people do". between the two quotations I see that all humans have good in them, but with the correct motivation, we all have the capacity to kill a living being, and one person can have the power to kill thousands.
Dresden, Germany was fire bombed at the end of the world's second war killing more civilians than Hiroshima and Nagasaki combined. And for over three decades Kabul, Afghanistan was under constant attack from different sources. The declaration of war is the most beautifully terrible moment in for a country in contention. For the women in Afghanistan and Laila the character in A Thousand Splendid Suns watches a television as George W Bush declares war, a miracle to her and the women who have lived in the dark hallows of oppression. Days after the firebombing of Dresden the war is over, and peace falls on all prisoners of war. It is amazing that two complete opposite declarations could bring a liberating sense of peace for these characters. War may bring peace but we must look back at the damage made and ask 'was it worth it?'
People think it is a simple act of clean up, an easy way out of a pickle to kill thousands to show they have the upper hand. Kurt Vonnegut displays a moving message through the illustration of a movie of American Bombers seen backwards and then forward, while forward this movie is America's killing and winning, but looking at the film backwards the ragged planes and ragged bodies are brought to life again, Germans save the American lives as the Americans suck the destruction away from the earth, people help take apart weapons of war and hide the chemicals of death. How breath taking cooperation and communication can be.
In the end my blog has failed to effectively compare these two novels in many different places but really you could take anything from our time and scratch the underbelly of war. But what I can compare is this. All the main characters in the two books believe that there is someone or something out there watching us on earth. Someone who knows that peace is something far more intelligent and is sad that humans rejoice in killing each other. These powers are greater than us as a whole and reaching down to try and help and understand us, all we need to do is accept that and use the means of communication to bring peace, use our hearts to do what we can,
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to tell the difference."

For my 20th birthday I inherited my sister's old Cannon Eos50. And I have finally purchased a memory card reader for it so now I will have some great pictures to post in days to come. Here are some from before!




If you would like to see more of my photos Visit marni.smugmug.com

Dance if you Want to leave Your friends behind

Sorry my blog friends it has been so very long since i've blogged on this page. I've been having a wonderful time living here in Northern Virginia. Two weeks ago Brittany and I went to New York City, Manhattan. If you would like to see pictures please visit the trip log blog. here www.triplogblog.blogspot.com

I am coming home to Utah In exactly three weeks from today, and even though I quit my job early I will not be coming home early for two reasons. One: I do not have the money to spend on changing my return ticket, and two: I want one final trip to VA Beach before we go.

All in all I think I've grown a bit here in the DC area, I understand how life gives you a handful of decisions, and you must choose them at risk but the reward is great for choosing the right. I am learning to get over some of my fears, like calling strangers, doing adult things on my own, saving money and learning to cope with expenses, I've also learned that friends and family are the hearts contentment no money could ever buy.

Here are some random photos, like I've said before and i'll say again I would much rather express myself through visuals.